🔥 Roast My Resume
Skip to the roast →
Free AI resume roast

Your resume needs a reality check.

Paste your resume. In 30 seconds, an AI career coach will roast the parts that make hiring managers cringe — then hand you three concrete rewrites you can use tonight. No sugarcoating. No signup. Nothing stored.

✓ Free, no signup✓ Nothing stored✓ ~30 seconds✓ Funny, but actually helpful
What you get

Two things that actually help.

Not a generic score. Not a list of keywords to stuff. A sharp, specific reading of your resume — the funny parts and the fixable parts.

🎤

The Roast

3–5 punchy, specific observations about the things in your resume that are making recruiters wince. Funny, sharp, never generic — it references what you actually wrote.

Example
“You listed 'Microsoft Office' as a skill in 2026. That’s like putting 'can operate a doorknob' on your LinkedIn.”
🛠

Save Yourself

3 concrete rewrite suggestions — specific to your resume, not boilerplate. Copy-paste-able improvements you can apply in five minutes and immediately send a stronger version.

Example
“Replace 'managed cross-functional teams' with 'led a 6-person team that shipped a $2.4M product launch 3 weeks early.'”
Why this works

Your friends won’t tell you. We will.

Everyone who reviews your resume is too polite. They say “looks good!” and move on. Hiring managers aren’t that kind. This tool bridges the gap — giving you the honest read your resume needs before it lands on a real desk.

🎯
Spot the cringe

The vague buzzwords, the outdated skills, the formatting crimes — surfaced in seconds.

✍️
Get real rewrites

Not 'use more action verbs.' Actual rewritten bullets, specific to your experience.

Fix it tonight

30 seconds to roast. 5 minutes to apply the fixes. Send the better version tomorrow morning.

Get the best results

How to get the sharpest roast.

1Paste the full text

Copy your entire resume — not just the summary. The more we see, the sharper the feedback.

2Include the buzzwords

Don't clean it up first. We want to see the 'synergies' and 'leveraged' so we can call them out.

3One resume at a time

Paste one version per roast. Run it again with your updated version to see if you survived.

Want a preview?

Load a sample resume to see the kind of feedback you’ll get.

The roast stage

Alright. Drop it in.

Paste your full resume text below. Your resume is never stored, never trained on, never seen by a human.

0 characters
Free·No signup·No storage·No PHI collected

Quick questions

Is my resume stored?+

No. The text is sent to the AI model, the roast comes back, and nothing is saved — no database, no logs, no record of your resume anywhere.

Is this a real career coach?+

No — but it mimics the patterns of a very honest one. Use the roast to spot your blind spots, and the 'Save Yourself' section for actionable fixes.

Can I run it more than once?+

Absolutely. Apply the fixes, paste the updated version, and roast again to see if you survived. Iterate until it can't find anything to burn.

Is it too mean?+

It's sharp but never cruel. It punches at the writing, not the person. And the 'Save Yourself' section is genuinely helpful — it's not a joke, it's real rewrite suggestions.

Want something built for your business?

Let’s brew something good.

This tool was built by Steeped Digital — a small AI app studio. Tell us what you have in mind. We’ll write back within 24 hours.

No sales pipeline. No spam. One real reply from a real human.